Madness at Work

During a recent conversation about our inventory software:

Guido: Hey VFD, do you find it hard to believe that we don’t have LeCroy in our database?
VFD: Well it’s been a while since I listed anything LeCroy, so . . .
NP: I find it hard to believe Linksys isn’t in our database.
VFD: when’s the last time you listed anything Linksys . . . ?
JM: I find it hard to believe it’s not butter!


(I can’t believe people think this stuff is food)

Are We Going to Start Another Space Race – with China, Now?

The question came up on the Boortz show this morning: SOMEbody is apparently going to build a base on the moon. Do you want it to be China, or do you want it to be us? The question is almost rhetorical. Of COURSE you want it to be us. Then the reaction I had: Neither! We shouldn’t be building [deleted] on the moon! Not our moon!

Of all the things where weights and balances are critical, the MOON is high on the list. Seriously? You make it too heavy and ‘here she comes!’ and if you make it too light (mining) ‘there she goes!’ WHO thinks it’s a good idea to mine the moon or add tons and tons of mass all in one spot on the surface? This is foolish talk!

Oh sure, we will make sure it’s done right. Sure, sure. International treaties to ensure mass distribution stays nominally the same. Right. Except OOPS oh well we’ll make it up next year. Then next year comes and OOPS oh well we’ll make it up next year. Then next year comes and HEY has anybody seen the Moon lately?

Leave the Moon ALONE. I like the tides. I like the night sky illumination. The female hormonal cycle we could do without, but . . . .

oh, wait a minute. Nevermind, mine the [deleted] out of the moon and make it go away!

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(that was a joke. I’ll take tides and global winds with PMS over the alternative, thanks)

Shaping The Destiny of Your Own Children

My Darling Wife is stepping out this morning. I wanted her to stay a few minutes more because I enjoy her company. She wanted to go because she would end up leaving late if she didn’t leave early. #1 heard Mommy was leaving and set out to go with her.

DW: Well I’ll be here a few minutes longer, she wants to go with me. I’m going to make her a turkey sandwich
VFD: You can’t make your children a turkey sandwich
DW: I am going to make a turkey sandwich . . .
VFD: They can only be a turkey sandwich if they want to be.
DW: . . . for her

(later)

DW: You’re so silly
VFD: 😀

You are Supporting a Cult

IRS publication 502 (medical and dental expenses) says “You can include in medical expenses fees you pay to Christian Science practitioners for medical care”

That is to say, when they tell you they have done something to bring you closer to “clear” you can claim that as a tax deduction . . . regardless of if anything was actually done. This is in addition to any “charitable contribution” you might deduct as well.

Oh well, when’s the next foosball game on the teevee?

THIS Guy, You Want Over Ron Paul?

Newt Gingrich wants to establish a colony on the MOON and call it a US State. Ron Paul would probably prefer to save those trillions of dollars. I’m pretty sure Mitt Romney would be all for the idea if polling showed it were popular.

Is this REALLY the best the Republicrats can come up with for a Presidential candidate? Really? I’m pretty sure I can’t vote for Romney, but I’m leaning toward not being able to vote for Gingrich, either. If the Losertarian party comes up with more than a percent or two of the popular vote, this kind of B.S. is why.

Thank God for the Rain!

It drizzled for a week a while back and the ground sucked it up like a sponge. Then two days ago it drizzled all afternoon to prep the ground for absorbing instead of running-off and flooding, and then the window of heaven opened. The airport reports something like 5-1/2″ of rain overnight last night. This is good for two reasons (one absolute, one subjective depending on you)

1) The lakes will refill a bit. The drought is a bit less with all this water.
2) The sky was rockin’ and rollin’ last night, with a continual sound of thunder and flashes of lightning every few seconds – for hours. This means the expensiver electronics at chez VFD were unplugged, so no blogging for me . . . so depending on whether you like what you read here, maybe a plus or a minus on the night!

Madness at Work

NP was flying his S107G around on break time and Guido was trying to shoot it out of the air with an AirZooka. Guido is not exactly the world’s greatest sportsman and his hit ratio was pretty low. I got a little frustrated at all the misses I was hearing, and set out to see if I could down the airplane with the air cannon myself. First shot was a miss but a close one. Second shot was a hit, but not too impressive because it was about 1 meter away. Then (after recovering from yet another disastrous crash) NP started flying again and he was going about as fast as his modded S107 could go. I had a wide-missed shot, then realized I needed to lead the bird to hit it in flight. I led it and hit it and the helicoper smashed into a doorjamb and went down, hard. Satisfied, I put the AirZooka on a shelf and went back to work. On my way back to my desk, I said quietly, in a squeaky voice, said “How can you shoot women and children!?” to nobody in particular.

JM asked if I had said what he thought I had said. After I responded in the affirmative, he LOL’d pretty good.

Bell Stole The Telephone

Radio frequency energy is magic. Black magic. It is a little-known fact* that Alexander Bell STOLE the invention of the telephone. The first guy didn’t protest, however, because he had been BURNED AS A WITCH!!!

I had a piece of test equipment fail on me today. It was reading anywhere from -30dB to -70dB down from the levels it should have. I figured out that the cable between one part and another was broken. There was no physical contact at all, and the signal was still passing – though it was greatly attenuated at lower frequencies. There was NO physical connection and the signal was still going through at a useful level! Witchcraft I tell you. Repairing the cable made it work all better again.
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*little-known because I just made it up.