In Which I Alienate My Crazy Readers

No, you don’t need antidepressants.

You need to cheer up.

First, get some sleep. If you’re not tired, exercise and then get some sleep. Exercise enough and you’ll be tired enough for a solid night’s sleep. Get a good solid night’s sleep for three weeks in a row before you see a doctor for your emotional whatevers. EVERYTHING is worse when you’re tired.

Get a better diet. Specifically go outside during daylight hours. Make sure you have plenty of magnesium so you can uptake the vitamin D you produce, and enough calcium to deal with the D once you absorb it. Stop eating out of boxes, and stop eating stuff that costs more dollars than it takes minutes to produce. Simple meals, lots of fresh foods, not the same cardboard you’ve been eating. Get tested for gluten and MSG sensitivity. Drink at least a half-gallon of straight-up WATER every day.

Face reality. Your mom is dying. Your cousin is gay (but not for you). Your dog is also gay. You should have a different job, house and car. You don’t have enough money to support your lifestyle. Your spouse thinks you are a jerk for good reason. Your life sucks. Acknowledge it and take positive steps to change it.

If all that won’t get your sorry ass un-depressed, get your calcium and parathyroid hormone levels checked. Get scanned for various autoimmune diseases and cancers. If you can’t get your emotions in line when you are well fed, rested, and don’t have any circumstantial problems, you are physically ill somehow.

But what you 99.993% certainly Do Not Need is a chemical straight jacket. Numbing your emotions (at the risk of increased suicidal tendencies) is not the same thing as being well. Merely Functional is no way to go through life. Fix yourself!

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