Then The Parrot Said:

A lady walked by a pet store on her way to work. There was a parrot in the display window of the store, and it said “HEY LADY! YOU’RE UGLY!” She ignored it. No use getting upset at a stupid bird, after all. The next day, she walked by the store and the bird said, “HEY LADY, YOU’RE UGLY!” And the next day. And the next week. Finally, she had enough and turned in to the pet store.

“Your bird,” she said to the shopkeeper, “has been insulting me every day for the last two weeks as I walk to work! I demand that you do something about this!”

“Yes, ma’am,” said the shopkeeper, “he won’t do it again, I promise.”

The next day, the lady walked by the store on her way to work. Then the parrot said:

“HEY LADY!
.
.
.
you know!

********

So here we have the latest case of some hideously fat woman suing an airline. She says it’s just not faaaaaair that she sometimes catches a surprise price-doubling when she has to buy an extra seat. Bonus points because “sometimes” she doesn’t have to buy an extra seat and sometimes she does. This has happened several times before.

Well here’s a news flash: “HEY LADY . . . you know!” You who are disgusting fat bodies did NOT get that way by accident, and well all know you are not surprised by your own girth.

Now you tell me, how is it fair to the guy in the middle that he paid the same price for a seat as the cows on either side?

If you take up as much room as two people, and are heavy enough it takes double the gas to haul you as it does two people, you need to be paying double. Every time. You should be thanking Southwest Airlines that you don’t have to pay double if there is an empty seat next to you, tubby.

I take note of your being offended, and am offended at you in return. Suck it up, and pay double. That’s what you get for being overfat.

You know, that plus diabetes, heart attacks, bad knees and ankles, stares from small chilren, and broken chairs at Starbucks. Gee, if only there were a way for this not to be a problem for you . . .

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