Those of you who (with me*) risk being branded as racist, heteronormative, etc. for the use of logic in your daily and literary lives will be greatly disturbed when you read this:
Law School Humbug by Heather Mac Donald
…read that, then realize that it was written 20 years ago, and consider what you see in the world around you.
*The rest of you may feel free to consider us horrible people for thinking as we do, but know that we find your distaste of our opinions horribly offensive and discriminatory.
I recently attended (as a chaperone) a childrens’ overnight camp with one of my children. There were forms and meetings beforehand, and it was made abundantly clear to the camp people (as well as the chaperones) that one of the precious snowlfake darlings has a Life Threatening Peanut Allergy. But do you want to hear the crazy part?
At the first and second meals, all the other children were able to serve themselves peanut butter AND jelly sandwiches with no difficulty. At the third meal, I overheard Helicopter Mom indignantly-and-too-loudly complaining that there had been god-forbid PEANUT PRODUCTS on the food line. For two meals! And can you guess how many people died from that?
Go on, guess.
No? Well I’ll tell you: ZERO. You know what never killed anyone yet? Being within a foot of peanut butter slime going into someone else’s mouth, or being on the same airplane as someone else who was enjoying the last vestige of customer service on an airplane, that little bag of salted peanuts. These women were practically getting themselves worked up into hysterics about something that had ZERO negative effect, but enhanced the enjoyment of the meal for several dozens of children. Get over yourself woman, and carry some diphenhydramine hcl if your child has an allergy. I’ll even grant you the extremely remote chance that your child has a Life Threatening Peanut Allergy. You know what you should do? You go to the doctor who TOLD you it was life-threatening (otherwise you are as full of shit as your co-workers think you are) and get a prescription for an epi-pen. If you can’t produce said epi-pen on a moment’s notice, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich table remains open at Camp VFD!
At home just now, I grabbed a handful out of a three-pound tin of peanuts we have just sitting open wafting deadly-dangerous PEANUT DUST all over the house and ate them while I contemplated this stupidity, then wrote up this blog post just to tweak your nose.
- If your nose isn’t tweaked, this isn’t for you
- If you are about to go ballistic, this is for you
- Actually, I guess it’s for me because I laugh at the thought of people getting outraged over anonymous internet words.
Update: more of them, the poor precious poor darlings. There are pecan trees on the campus where one of my children goes to school, and we collect the pecans. One of the children in one of my childrens’ classes has the dreaded Life Threatening Nut Allergy!!! Now my anklebiter has to surrender his pecans to me before going into the classroom because someone else in the classroom opened one of these pecans that are all over the place, and god-forbid the oil from the nut meat could have ended up where darling snowflake could come in contact with it and (to quote Grug from The Croods) AND DIE!!!1!
But you know who died? Nobody. There are crushed pecans all over the parking lot and this child routinely FAILS to become ill every.single.day despite all this holyshit NUT OIL AND DUST all over the campus.
B.S., I’m calling it.
Say it with me now: Contrails are not the same as chemtrails
I saw this overhead as I went out of my workplace the other day. Either somebody was having fun, or somebody almost crashed into somebody else and the FAA is investigating as we speak, I’m not sure which. But one thing is sure: if I had a jet airplane, it would look like this about 20% of the time after I passed through.
Let me be clear: there is no solid security measure which cannot be defeated by a determined thief. When the Christians are gone, they will try the best-possible solution that will STILL be subject to fraud: implanted chips, possibly with biometrics. Good luck with that.
The old swipe-yer-card-in-the-reader credit cards are easy to physically copy, and you just need a photo of the front and/or back, maybe, depending how you plan to use the card. The new wave-yer-card-near-the-display cards can be read and accessed from large distances, then copied or used to approve transactions remotely. But supposedly they are more secure because you have to know a PIN. Well, kinda. These are being phased in by law here soon, at which point my banks will no longer be able to honor my demands for a non-RFID enabled card (current count in my wallet: zero) and I’ll go to a metal wallet to shield my money.
Anyway the very newest of the new technology is not quite as secure as they thought, maybe. Turns out with a cell phone waved NEAR someone’s wallet, a hacker can authorize up to a million-dollar transaction on your card.
…and just as soon as he learns on the news what he would have learned about at regularly scheduled briefings (had he deigned to attend said briefings) he gets really, really VISIBLY disturbed. For like five minutes in front of the camera, then goes and plays some more golf*.
- We had a Marine in jail in Mexico which is nothing really new
- He has PTSD which is nothing new as well
- He was in jail for driving around in Mexico with guns in his truck which is a huge no-no down there
- But it was a legitimate ACCIDENT and there was no criminal intent on his part.
President Obama, the Boss of this Marine, has been content to let him rot down there and to say not word number one to Mexico about it. It took the efforts of a retired politician to convince a Judge in Mexico to release our Marine on humanitarian grounds. Kudos to Governor Richardson for leading the way, Congratulations and “Welcome Home!” to Sergeant Tahmooressi, and a big [deleted] you to President Obama for sucking a big fat one on this issue.
For shame, Mister President.
*200 rounds of golf, President B.H. Obama has played so far and he’s got 2 more years to go. For the newbies and those who forgot: President G.W. Bush STOPPED playing golf when the democrats criticized him for taking play time on a for-the-rich sport during a hard time for the country . . . but I digress.