Okay, This Is No Shit…

I’ve already mentioned previously that I’m really fast, mentally. Fast as in, I have often decided how to react before people around me have registered there is a thing to react to. Fast as in, I haven’t been satisfyingly startled by someone trying to prank me in … well, ever. Fast as in, I’m not even ticklish. Well okay … anyway

And I’m the security detail. I’m the one with a gun keeping an eye on things from the back. Except when I’m sleeping. I guess I’m “that guy” you don’t want to wake up because it’s scary. Yesterday, DW came to wake me up a minute before my Naptime’s Over alarm would have gone off. Then she regretted waking me up because I realized it was her as I was on the way up, with a fist at full-cock and she didn’t want a face full of it. She said something like “Geez, just don’t hit me” after I had already not.

I can come out of sleep already processing circumstances, is the point – fast enough to not knock out someone who comes to awaken me, halfway through the activity.

Also, I can see in the dark. At least, I can see way, way farther into violet hues than a lot of people I know, and I can navigate with confidence when other people are in pitch dark midnight blackness. To me, our house at night with various LED indicators and clocks etc. is never really pitch black. And last night was a bigass full moon, so I could see – not well, but I could see what was going on in the house without switching on a light.

Okay so. background storytime is over for now. This morning I woke up at 04:-something AM and heard a noise that could have been a child sneezing and/or wandering about doing potty business. No big deal. Back to sleep. A few minutes later, a noise probably from the house settling, in the vicinity of my bedroom door. No big deal. Back to sleep. Thus often interrupted, I was sleeping badly. I don’t know what woke me at 05:-something but I woke up on my side, face pointed horizontally across the bed and off toward the door. There was a person there.  About as tall as the shortest of our children.

And completely white.

And translucent.

At this point, my brain is half asleep, and half has just started going 100 miles an hour, and the whole self is about 86% of the way toward losing its shit completely. Fucking ghost, right here in my bedroom and I’m trapped under the covers.

Okay self, SITREP time. Here is a translucent, child-sized, white-including-the-clothes person, standing next to my bed. Odds were pretty small, but the sleeping part of my mind said it still could be a child. I put out an arm to grab its shoulder. Maybe it would have been a half-punch-speed grab, but I was about to start freaking out here.

My arm went straight through this thing,I kid you not. At this point, I was at a loss for an appropriate response. The wakeful part of my mind was thinking it might have been a bad idea to have reached out and grabbed at this thing, whether it had been grab-able or not.

My eyes drifted left, to where my hand had gone. The whatever-it-is followed my eyes’ motion, staying in the same place within my field of view. Floating now over the foot of my bed. Okay 100% now for-sure this is not one of my children.

I closed my eyes. It was still there with my eyes closed. This did not make me feel better.

When I wake up in a nightmare, I repeat the Lord’s name quietly to myself. It’s often as good a prayer as I can come up with, plus I figure it’s at least a nuisance to whatever spirit might have decided to come mess with me, if that’s why I’m having a nightmare. So here I am “JesusJesusJesus”ing and I realized:

I was rolling around on the bed. I had been on my side. My eye was smooshed on one side by a pillow and the eye was recovering. I told the apparition, (said silently, to myself, in my head) “now you are going to fade away. you are going to start strobing and shrinking, and shrinking” and it did.  I recognized this as mental noise, it went away, and I chilled out. No big deal. Back to sleep.

I think, if I were a little slower, I would have pitched a full-scale fit right then-and-there. But I swung an arm, then rolled over on my back. No screaming, no jumping out of bed and dragging the covers with me, no waking DW up to a freaking-out husband. Thank God it was -literally!- nothing.

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