March 01 2022 Republican Primary Election Voter Guide

US Representative District 17

Paulette Carson – By process of elimination. Her website has all good talking points. Bonus intersectionality points during the general for being a woman with a special-needs child

Jason “Stormchaser” Nelson – sounded good until I found out he named his children Danger, Thunder, and Lightning. Seriously. Dude.

Pete Sessions – Time for new blood in congress, not him

Rob Rosenberger – Being my spiritual shipmate in the Navy is a plus. Having worked for the CIA is a disqualifier.

Governor – Greg Abbot it’s not even close. The regular reader will know my lack of desire to change leaders when there’s a good one. That’s Abbott.

Lieutenant Governor

Daniel Miller – his schtick is TEXIT. Pass.

Aaron Sorrells – seems ok also. I could vote for him I think

Dan Patrick – has been a roadblock to good bills. Let’s see someone new.

Trayce Bradford – an 80% candidate I could be ok with

Zach Vance – an 80% candidate for me. I could be ok with him but he’s ok with abortion so let’s see who else is out there

Todd M. Bullis – probably won’t win, but if you want someone who puts his Christian values up front, here’s your boi.

Attorney General

Ken Paxton – He hasn’t been altogether terrible in office. The lawsuit thing doesn’t really bother me. I’ve never really been strongly FOR him nor agin’ him either. He shot himself in the foot resisting (illegally resisting) an open records request as the guy in charge of them. Time to Go, Kenny!

Eva Guzman – She was my pick for Justice on the Supreme Court and has retired. It would be hard to find a better fit for the job, perhaps

Louie Gohmert – Just the right kind of crazy nutter to try to move the Overton window in the right direction in Congress. Not the kind of crazy I’d like to see as Attorney General but I could easily vote for him against literally any Democrat in November.

George P. Bush – No. Hard pass. No more Bushes. Sorry buddy the family ruined it. Also: Way to jump to different offices trying to stay relevant, or maybe to escape a race he would lose for doing a poor (and controversial) job.

Comptroller of Public Accounts

Mark V. Goloby – An accountant in charge of the public books would be okay. I think there are two decent candidates here.

Glenn Hegar – I haven’t heard anything horrid about him yet, give him another term and then send him out to pasture.

Commissioner of the General Land Office

Ben Armenta – seems okay. doesn’t particularly stand out in a field with a bunch of okay candidates

Tim Westley – flavorless background on which one may project his desires in looking for an ideal candidate. Like Obama in this way, but not a radical leftist. Pass

Rufus Lopez – homey you gotta have a website tho

Weston Martinez – would probably be okay too. let him keep being pastor at his church, that’s more important.

Dawn Buckingham – has crazy eyes, which is a reliable indication . . . endorsed by El Trumpo though, which is also a reliable indication. LOTS of solid endorsements, which goes a long way for me this time.

Victor Avila – seems okay. doesn’t particularly stand out in a field with a bunch of okay candidates

Jon Spiers – it may be entirely unjustified, but this guy rubs me the wrong way. A *reservist* doctor for 16 years is honorable but . . . His face also gives me the same creepy vibe I got from the younger version of Al Gore before he turned into a legit demon. Pass. I’m sorry Jon.

Don W. Minton – It is better to be agnostic than to be an outspoken Catholic. Pass. longtime readers will recall I failed to vote for Romney against Obama for similar reasons.

Commissioner of Agriculture

Carey A. Counsil – He cares and his heart seems to be in the right place. I could vote for him in November, but not in March.

James white – if your campaign is “the other guy sucks” you suck do better

Sid Miller – is a firebrand but the Sunset Commission just sayd he’s doing a good job. Let him keep at it. Plus, he’s my kind of firebrand!

Railroad Commissioner

Sarah Stogner – Such a serious person she galavanted naked on camera for funsies. Forever pass on this one.

Dwayne Tipton – by default and because he seems actually qualified, I’m gonna pull the lever for Tipton this time.

Wayne Christian – Made the Texas Worst Legislators list – twice – for being a jerk when he doesnt have to be.  No. Still. I’ve been here a while.

Marvin “Sarge” Summers – R.I.P. brother. The body is dead but the soul flew to Christ!

Tom Slocum Jr. – I didn’t have to read very long before he disqualified himself. Blockchain is a buzzword and it has nothing to do with public records. Ridiculous. Next.

Justice, Supreme Court, Place 9

Evan Young – is young, and has only been a judge for a few minutes. After he graduated from schools that make my skin crawl and being mostly just a lawyer.

David J. Schenck – actually a judge and and a good one, the kind who you don’t hear anything bad about. This guy.

Judge, Court of Criminal Appeals, Place 5

Clint Morgan – I’d be happy to vote for him in November. In March I’m for Walker

Scott Walker – Longtime readers will know I don’t like kicking out an incumbent that isn’t doing poor work. Keep him here.

Member, State Board Of Education, District 5

Robert Morrow – a rather bizarre case. A Republican who wants to Impeach trump in 2020 is bad enough to have the local Republican establishment leadership threatening to set itself on fire literally if he got into this position? That’s gonna be a “yikes” form me

Mark Loewe – by default, the better choice. It’s possibly worth getting out to vote ONLY for this race. Because . . . yikes.

County Chair

Matt Mackowiak – probably wins but . . .

Jennifer Fleck – If you want someone to bring Trumpish values and flair to the party, it’s gotta start with the local party leadership. It looks to me like that’s Fleck so I’m gonna go for her this time.

Republican primary ballot propositions: Rah-rah for the Red Team

Proposition 1: do what we’re already doing to reduce illegal immigration since the feds won’t: Yes

Proposition 2: Eliminate property taxes without implementing an income tax
Yes. Consumption tax.

Proposition 3: Texans shouldn’t get fired for not getting the covid clot shot
Yes they should not. The wording of this sucks.

Proposition 4: Teach american nationalism, reject critical race theory:
YES ffs

Proposition 5: Enact a constitutional amendment to defend sanctity of innocent human life from fertilization to death
Yes

Proposition 6: Republicans should stop giving committee chairmanships to democrats
Yes. This seems easy and IDeK what’s the backstory

Proposition 7: Texans should have secure elections basically
Yes

Proposition 8: Ban chemical castration, puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones and genital mutilation surgery on all minor children for sex transition purposes
YES this sort of thing is a crime against humanity by the way and they should have said Gender but ok

Proposition 9: Texas parents and guardians should have the right to select their childrens school and have funding follow the student
Yes

Proposition 10: Affirm that our freedoms come from God and the government has no control over the conscience of individuals
Yes