Madness @ Work!

At work, I was waiting for an expensive (think, several paychecks to replace) piece of equipment to start up.  I was sitting a few feet away and heard a noise.

hisssssSSSSSSS

I thought the thing was going to explode for a moment.  Then I realized it was the cleaning lady making the noise with her push broom.

Madness @ Work!

I submitted a supply request for a tool.  I had brought some seriously low-quality versions from home and didn’t really mind when they died, but I was using them for work – so I requested an actual high-quality tool-grade version as a replacement for use at work.  FOG asked CO1 about it while I was standing near both of them, and he didn’t recall seeing the email where she asked him.  She mentioned that wasn’t the first email of hers that he didn’t seem to have received.  He said it might be because he has her emails automatically forwarded to the trash.

:rimshot:

Madness At Work!

As a small company, we have the ability to do fun things just for fun sometimes, but we do try to respect one another’s feelings and be safe.  For example, they put a stop to riding on forklifts . . . on the forks of forklifts, and I was once reprimanded for quoting Dr. Laura.

 One of the things I do with IT Buddy is called the Penis Game.  It consists of saying “penis” at odd moments.  I was walking toward the head, and he was coming out from the head.  The wife of one of the owners of the company works in the front office, and she came into the area about the same time.  I saw ITB’s wheels turn when he saw me, then I saw him glance sidelong at our female co-worker, and back at me, and he was quiet as he walked away from the bathroom door.  I told him “I saw what you did.” and he laughed.

Small company, big fun!

Madness at Work!

One of the company owners has a buddy that knows PB works on computers.  He brought PB his mutlithousand-dollar workstation-class laptop that’s more powerful than the average workstation at my workplace, to work on.  PB fixed it and came to see me.  He asked if we had any scrap laptops that are all black.  Found one.  Left.

Came back with a big smile.

 Computerbuddy saw PB coming toward him with a black computer and PB “tripped” on a pallet and pitched the computer up in the sky.  Crash! it came down, screen going this way, computer going that way, pieces flying like a movie special effect.  You know, I thought Computerbuddy might have had a better sense of humor than that.  He didn’t seem to think this was funny at ALL.

So I Nearly Killed A Man . . .

I was in the front office at work and Front Office Girl #1 called out across the hall to Front Office Dude, “FOD, did you steal all my blue pens?”

I informed FOG1 that FOD wasn’t in his office, and he promptly appeared in the hall at the far end.  I informed him he was being accused of something.

He asked what, and FOG1 repeated her question.  He denied it and they had a brief conversation on the topic.  During this time, I was using the Heavy Duty Swingline Stapler to repair a manual needed by those of us who do Real Work, and I finished up and drifted into FOD’s office.

So what’s up? he says.  I informed him their heavy duty stapler was working, because (I said) I know you were very concerned about it.  He mentioned that FOG2 also sometimes accused him of stealing her pens.

I called out to FOG1 across the hall, “What, just because we’re men, we’re stealers?  Just because we steal your hearts doesn’t mean we steal your pens!”

FOD was drinking his coffee and it went down wrong instead of going all over his desk, keyboard, and monitors.  He recovered alright but it was touch and go there for a few seconds.

Women accusing men of stealing things other than hearts: DEADLY DANGEROUS!!!

Small Business, Big Fun

Some helpful soul found a key and posted it above the time clock with a big red text sign and an arrow.

Somebody else was a wiseacre

Somebody else was, too

These three lines were written by three people on different days.  Somehow, no sex harassment suits have been filed yet.

 photo MineValen_zps08d60592.jpg

Keen observation will show you the company holiday tree, on the right of the picture

Just Don’t Ask

There were some strange noises coming from across the room at work the other day.
???: (noises)
NP: What’s going on over there?
VFD: Do you really want to know?
NP: That’s a good point.
VFD: Generally speaking, consider what could be the worst-case answer.  If you don’t want to know it was that, then don’t ask.
********
This is why, when we greet each other, you ask me how I’m doing and I don’t subsequently ask you.  I care.  I love you too, really I do.  But I don’t want to hear about how your dog is dying of cancer and you have an infected hangnail, really I don’t. 
P.S., my standard answer of “okay, tired and allergic” is 99% of the time the whole truth.  Say “Nice to see you” instead of a non-question, ok?  ok!

BAD Pallet! Down! No Treat for You!

Little bastard tried to kill me. I was walking by and it grabbed and twisted my foot, threw me on the ground!

A freight shipping pallet, that is.  A particularly old and shabby one, with the last top slat held on by one nail at one end and a hooked nail poking out the other end.  I was walking by, minding my own (company) business and next thing I know I slapped the floor with my left arm to soften the blow as the concrete floor broke my fall!  WM was walking out of CO1’s office and saw me (on the security video monitor) right after I hit the floor as he was leaving.  WM asked why I was lying down and CO1 looked up and saw me hurl the offending plank across the room.  The audio recording, it would be solid beeps when they played it on TV.  I got back to work.  WM hit the DVR controls and proceeded to have a good laugh (with everybody else I work with) at my expense, replaying my pirouette to the floor.

Oh well, no blood no foul, and this didn’t even get me a bruise thanks Jesus!  Eventually CO1 did come around and ask if I were okay. He was still laughing a little.

P.S. when my Darling Wife called me later that day and I told her what happened, she LOL’d too.  Nice.

I’m a Frikken Reporter Already!

The people where I work were concerned about a huge plume of smoke that looked to be just up the hill from where we were.  That would be, the heavily wooded hill, and our place surrounded by a wood.  I asked if we should send somebody to go scope it out and PB said it would be a good idea.  I had a camera in hand, so I jumped in the Hot Rod and went to snap some photos. 

From our parking lot, it looked close-ish.
From the highway, it was obviously across a four lane divided highway, across a ravine, and over a hill.  Much less worrisome to us directly.
Two alarm fire, at least.  Note the irony of the Emergency Room wait time billboard.
Somebody is going to come home to a pretty nasty surprise tonight.